Yeah, I tried out a chain restaurant, the Bonefish Grill, for the first time Saturday night with my lady. Here goes:

What I Ordered: Bang Bang Shrimp appetizer, corn chowder with lump crabmeat, 6 oz. sirloin with Maryland style crab cake, side dishes au gratin potatoes and braised garbanzo beans in turkey sausage, tomatoes and spinach, Samuel Smith Oatmeal Stout

What the Wife Ordered: Same appetizer, soup and sides, imperial wolf fish, white mango spritzer sangria

What I Liked: 

• The bread came with a pesto dipping sauce rather than butter
• Bang Bang Shrimp and the corn chowder were both excellent
• Au gratin potatoes were among the best I’ve ever had

What I Didn’t Like:

• Restaurant was too dimly lit
• My crab cake was a bit messily plated

Overall Thoughts: As much as some chain restaurants get bagged on (and rightfully so), they’re not all bad. Sure, the places like Carrabba’s are drowned out by the sea of mediocrity that contains shit like Olive Garden or Applebee’s, but the fact is that there are good places that exist as franchised facsimiles all over the country. Bonefish Grill is one of the good places.

Quality of food, variety of menu choices and overall atmosphere are what set the good chains from the bad chains. In terms of an overall experience, Bonefish has at least the food portion of that down. Much like its cousin chains, Carrabba’s and Outback Steakhouse, though, the ambiance is a bit lacking. I don’t know about you, but I prefer my dining areas to be bright. I want to be able to see my food and my date, in this case, my beautiful and lovely wife Amanda. I don’t get why some restaurants keep the lights low, especially ones that have good food. What do you have to hide? I dunno.

But then again, if the lighting’s the only real negative, then the dining experience isn’t going to be that bad at all. With each course, Bonefish delivered on the goods. Starting from the drink menu, I knew this place was different than the rest with some of the beers they offered. You can’t get brews like Samuel Smith Oatmeal Stout, Stone Arrogant Bastard or Chimay at some standalone eateries, let alone the big box chains. For those who don’t know already, I’m a bit of a beer snob, although really, you’re only a snob if you look down on other people for drinking what they drink. I might think that Miller Lite is fermented piss, but hey, if that’s what you like drinking, knock yourself out. I digress though.

Much like in the same vein as some Italian restaurants, Bonefish’s default dressing for its complimentary bread isn’t butter. Rather than the herbed olive oils though, it’s a pesto sauce, which I found was not only different but very delicious. Then again, isn’t pesto really just the OG among herbed olive oils? I digress again.

Our waitress let us know that the Bang Bang Shrimp were the most popular appetizer and overall food item by far. We were both predisposed to ordering it anyway, so it wasn’t that hard of an upsell. We could both see why it sells so damn well. Each shrimp was fried to perfection, not too chewy, not overly greasy, just the prefect fried morsel of seafood, drenched in a creamy-spicy sauce that was milked from a Pepper Cow straight out of the lore of Avatar: The Last Airbender. 

Up next was Amanda’s favorite part of the meal, the corn chowder with lump crabmeat. I am predisposed to liking creamy seafood chowders, as referenced by my love for New England clam chowder (hint, it’s the white, stupid). I was looking forward to this more than anything, and it totally delivered. It had everything a good creamy chowder should have, with an underlying heat to it that played off well with the sweetness of both the corn and crab. Our entrees hadn’t arrived yet and Amanda was already floating the idea of coming back just to have a bowl of soup and an order of Bang Bang Shrimp. I wasn’t opposed to it.

Then, it was entree time. As much as I’ve grown in the last five years to get over my fear of seafood, I’m still a land-lubber at heart. Rather than be adventurous and try a whitefish or something of ilk (like my wife did with her wolf fish special, which came topped with crab Imperial, shrimp and bay scallops), I stuck with what I was comfortable with, beef and shellfish. My steak and crab cake combo was very tasty, although the presentation of the cake was less cake and more crabsplosion. I dunno, I like my crab cakes to be a bit more sturdy, but it was delicious at least. If I were one of those asshole judges on Chopped, I’d have totally called them out on calling it a crab cake instead of just crab Imperial, but I’m not so I didn’t.

The side dishes were the stars here for me though. Then again, as my wife and parents will attest to, I’ve always been more of a sides person than a main dish guy. I love my starches and veggies, what can I say. The sheer fact that Bonefish offered au gratin potatoes as a side is incredible in and of itself. It’s not a potato dish you see most places, and that makes me sad as cheese and potatoes go together like peanut butter and tuna fish jelly. I wasn’t disappointed at all, as they were easily my favorite part of the night. The standard “garnish” for each dinner was the garbanzo bean dish, which was again, fantastic.

Honestly, we were both floored by how good our experience was at Bonefish Grill. If you’re the kind of person who does go to chain restaurants all the time, put this at the top of your list. It’s a great dining experience and probably the best “gateway” to fine dining as I can think of for a midrange establishment. Everything felt like it could have been an upper-scale standalone restaurant except for the prices, which were more than reasonable for what you got. For those who don’t normally go to chains, seek this one out. It’s the exception to the rule.